The Decathlon

In an endless battle to never back down from a challenge, a decathlon (term is used loosely) has been set up to determine which Mike is best.  On the one hand we have Mike G, also known as Mike Classic because he was the first Mike in the workplace.  His opponent is Mike F, sometimes commonly once referred to as Mike Ultra.  After much bantering, the gauntlet has been thrown and the games have begun.  The semi-permanent list of events can be found below, and are subject to change.  Please check back periodically to see the results (Winner in Green, Loser in Red).

Mike G Arm Wrestle Mike F
Mike G Racquetball Mike F
Mike G Cracker Challenge Mike F
Mike G Scrabble Mike F
Mike G Halo Mike F
Mike G Mini Golf Mike F
Mike G Poker Mike F
Mike G Trivia Mike F
Mike G Bowling Mike F
Mike G Billiards (8-Ball) Mike F
Mike G Overall Winner Mike F

Arm Wrestle

In an effort to get things kicked off right away, the first competition was the nuclear classic arm wrestling match.  Staged in the SympKitchen, the two titans sat down across from each other in what was sure to be a battle so monumental, the Big Bang would have sounded like a mouse squeak.  Though highly hyped, the match was a bit one-sided.  Mike G’s power was too much for Mike F, rendering him defeated rather convincingly.  For this, it is an easy victory for:
Mike G

Racquetball

Deemed the primary competition  (and the catalyst behind the entire decathlon) this event was highly anticipated by both sides.  Not without trash talk, smack talk, fighting words, and downright insensitivity to feelings, it felt like the match started before we even knew where we were playing.  After a considerable amount of searching every one available resource (read: Google) we agreed upon the rec center at the University of Maryland College Park.  With a location determined, all that was left was a date and time.  Not wasting any time, Tuesday after work is what will forever be referred to as “Game Time”.

After an unnecessarily long commute to College Park, we navigated through the campus to the rec and got warmed up.  Mutually agreed upon rules: play to 15, win by 2, no blood no foul.  Well, as it turns out, it was a bit uneven.  The final result was 2 games to zero, with a score of 15-0, 15-0.  And the winner is:
Mike G

Cracker Challenge

There is a world-renowned challenge simply referred to as “The Cracker Challenge”. Here’s the gyst: you get 5 Saltine crackers, 1 minute, and no water, and you have to devour those crackers before time expires.  We modified this challenge a bit by removing the 1 minute constraint and making it a head-to-head showdown.  First to eat all 5 crackers wins.

It began with an opening act of Joe and D2 going for the 1 minute challenge.  Joe went with the “all-5-at-once” approach and quickly realized his fatal error: trying the “all-5-at-once” approach.  About 30 seconds in, he was coughing up cracker crumbs and laughing uncontrollably.  He forfeited shortly after.  D2, however, crushed the 1 minute barrier, completing the challenge in approximately 52 seconds.  A new record?  Perhaps.

After giving their best shot, it was time for the main event.  Mike F. and Mike G. readied themselves with 5 crackers in hand.  Upon starting, the match was relatively even.  At the 35 second mark, each was well into the third cracker.  Neither came close to beating the 1 minute mark, and it was a photo finish.  In the end, Mike G. pulled it off while Mike F. still had some remaining cracker crumbs in his mouth.  The winner is:
Mike G

Scrabble

The Scrabble throwdown has taken form in a best-of-3 5 competition using standard rules and Scrabble.com as our methods for checking the validity of words.  The first round began in the wee hours of the morning.  After getting off to a decent start, Mike G never had enough firepower to overtake Mike F.  An early setback for Mike G consisted of playing “OZ” on a Double-Word-Score followed by a successful challenge by Mike F.  Plagued by a record number of vowels, Mike G could do little to prevent the onslaught of points laid down by Mike F.  With words like “HAZIER” and “AFOOT” Mike F took a decent lead.  The last ditch effort by Mike G took shape in the form of “QI” by placing a “Q” on a double-word-score space between 2 “I” pieces.  The flood gates were blown open, however, on a Triple-Word-Score “Rink” by Mike F.  The final score of Round 1 was a demoralizing 328 – 253.

Round 2 of the Scrabble showed down resulted in a much closer final score, but ultimately ended the same as Round 1.  After another even start, the board became locked up with amateur strategic plays by both sides.  The real turning point in the game is when Mike F held a 50-point lead and Mike G attempted to lay down “SQUEAM” (as in squeamish).  After a lengthy internal argument, Mike F challenged, much to Mike G’s chagrin (another good Scrabble word).  From there Mike G chipped away at the lead but was never able to overcome the deficit.  As the end game drew nigh, and Mike G’s fate became more and more apparent, he tried frantically to lure Mike F into opening the board so he could take his last stand by playing his Q on a premium square (triple-letter-score).  Alas, he had already revealed his lone Q to Mike F earlier in the game in the SQUEAM incident, and Mike F, knew of Mike G’s nimble Q moves from the previous encounter.  Mike F vowed not to let history repeat itself and locked the board with a fierceness, neighboring cubicles would not soon forget.  The final score for Round 2 was 285 – 261.  Through an act of pity mercy, Mike F offered to extend the challenge to be a best-of-5, giving Mike G more opportunity to show his inferior skills new life.

And new life it is!  Round 3 was a nail-biter, came down the wire, and won by a nose.  (Any other sayings?  skin of your teeth maybe?)  It started off on the right foot for Mike G when Mike F played a typo in the first word: “ZANEY” (54-pts) instead of “ZANY”.  As the game progressed, Mike F held a modest lead as Mike G bided his time.  Thanks to another typo, Mike G remained in the game as Mike F played “DONER” instead of “DONOR”.  Through all this Mike G never took advantage to take over the game.  Later Mike G challenged Mike F on “ORT” and failed, allowing Mike F to open up a substantial lead late in the game.  The real turning point is when Mike G played “WIMP” on a triple-word-score and picking up “OP” along the way.  Mike F challenged “OP” unsuccessfully (apparently it is a style of abstract art), opening the door for Mike G.  The game went back and forth until Mike G put it away with a 294 – 278 victory.  Current scoreboard: 2-1 in favor of Mike F

Mike F is reeling now.  After his two games to zero lead and stupid arrogant gracious offer to make it a best-of-5 series, the tables have turned.  Oh, how they have turned!  Round 4 started off well for Mike G and the letters continued going his way.  Ps and Ys and Bs, the high-point letters just kept coming.  Things remained close the entire match, witnessing several lead changes.  Mike F challenged “YOYO” and luckily won, realizing that the hyphen was missing from yo-yo.  In another instance Mike G passed on his turn as an act of mercy rather than compromising his letters for a few points.  It came down to Mike F holding one piece and Mike G holding three, score tied at 281, and the ball in Mike G’s court.  Utilizing his lexiconic and gastronomic deftness, Mike G used his remaining letters for “ORZO” (meaning “rice-shaped pasta” for those of you who are lacking lexiconic and/or gastronomic skills), squashing Mike F’s hopes of a Game-Set-Match.  Final score: 307 – 277 in favor of Mike G. Current scoreboard: 2-2

Halo

Preview: Mike F is the heavy favorite here.  His deftness handling an XBOX controller and experience with all three editions of Halo set the stage for a blowout with little chance for an upset.

Mini Golf

Results to come

Poker

Rules and procedure to be determined.

Trivia

Results to come

Bowling

Results to come

Billiards (8-Ball)

Results to come

  1. #1 by d2 on May 20, 2009 - 11:04 am

    Trivia, do 2-3 weeks of monday night trivia up at the courts to determine winner. mano a mano, decide either best of 2, or winner by cumulative points.

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